Reminisce With Me
by hanaii
Summary: Multiple oneshots on angsty character arcs. Third chapter: Rin's father is the foundation for his dream to become an Olympic swimmer, and he can't carry out that dream until he beats Haruka once and for all.
1. Past and Reality

**AN:** I felt that Haruka's perspective during this scene was really important to describe because he was the one that was most affected. Just lots of personal headcanons, really. Lots of thanks to my beta for all the support. This chapter is dedicated to you, Amanda.

******Episode-base:** One**  
Character Arcs: **Haru**  
Word Count: **1,419**  
Summary:** Rin appears in their old grade school, and Haruka's forced to remember their past.

* * *

"I didn't think I'd run into you guys here."

Reddish brown irises, messy, silk-like hair to match, and the snap of elastic material from the back of the cap: this was Rin Matsuoka, no doubt. He positioned himself in front of the three astounded figures, all of which were trying to make sense out of this unexpected encounter.

For the two less-composed individuals, there was an obvious reaction, the kind that you'd consider to be normal. Not only had the suspenseful vibe of their surroundings drop, but now, they actually had reason to feel nostalgic in their old grade school. After all, with their convenient meeting in said school, what would've possibly been more miraculous? Nagisa, convinced that their reunion was conjured by some "unseen force," was especially fired up. Makoto, feeling a mixture of relief and curiosity, supported the gleeful ambiance to what he thought would be a new start for all four of the male acquaintances.

Haruka, on the other hand, thought otherwise.

The brooding male hesitated to step forward and inquire of why Rin was in Japan again, why he was in their old elementary school at such a late hour, and why he hadn't told them sooner about his transfer when they were kids. He wanted to know exactly why Rin had sprouted hope inside of him when they were children, because a solid friendship seemed to build up and completely break down in a matter of seconds.

No one besides Haru, Rin, and their old coach knew the cause of this fallout. The fact that Rin couldn't accept his defeat in the last race he'd had with Haru separated them. It crushed Haru, too, that his friend's failure was too much to bare, and he had quit swimming competitively as an effect in the matter. Seeing Rin here, now, easily brought back this memory, and it infuriated Haru. From such merry expressions to painful ones, Haru cursed Rin for having shown them. But mostly, Haru cursed himself for allowing them to affect him this much. What was with that careless smile Rin threw around like nothing, anyways? It was that fleeting image of sharp, pearly whites that permanently imprinted itself into Haruka's brain and allowed itself to resurface unwanted feelings.

Well, whatever it was, Haru needed answers. He had so many questions, yet he couldn't bring himself to ask any of them while captured in Rin's unfamiliar, cold gaze. Instead, he stood speechless as his friends before him chattered about.

The presence was different. The air around him entirely mystic, sullen, and incomprehensibly foreign. Disappointed? No.. no, that word was an understatement. If anything, that was merely a branch to the different emotions rooted deep within Haru. Rather than feeling disappointed, he was frustrated. Frustrated, why? It was a question he forced himself not to answer half-heartedly. After all, he had expected this sort of atmosphere the moment Rin stated his leave to Australia. The sudden announcement from their childhood made Haru think, '_Maybe I was the only one that cared_,' and '_Is he really ditching us to attend a swimming school?_' Rin standing there in front of them with such a peculiar atmosphere was proof enough, and Haru decided that it was useless to to ask something that had already been answered.

Really, what else was Haruka to expect after years of separation? His subconscious dared not to challenge this fact, and to make matters even more intense, he'd promise himself not to over-analyze the situation. He would leave all that to Nagisa and Makoto. Nonetheless, he made an attempt to stay composed as he was.

The memories he had left with his once competitive, excitable friend were arising. Staying in touch with each other after their departure meant little from the fact that they were too young to exchange information like email addresses and phone numbers. With the burial of their trophy from their relay race, it seemed like the same thing could have been said about their friendship. They've gone through with their goodbyes, and yet, "fate" brought them here tonight.

Why?

No matter how much he reminisced about the past, the thought that Rin would actually come back never occurred to him, nor did he anticipate how much Rin would change. His eyes used to be filled with so much enthusiasm and eagerness. The ardent glow in his eyes, despite how much he'd deny it, made Haruka fall deeper into his passion for swimming. The caress of the water, the sound of it rushing over his ears as his arms swung back and forth in the front crawl, and how the weight of everything seemed to vanish whenever he swam―he loved it all. It was clear enough for any fool to see Haru's ardor for swimming from the exterior perspective, and Rin had playfully yet firmly challenged it the instant they'd met. Sharing something you loved and being able to express it thoroughly to others who admired you for it overwhelmed Haru with indescribable joy.

But that was in the past, and right now, this was the reality.

"Haru―"

His eyes and voice were harsh, masked with cold, unwillingness to discourse in amiable mannerism. They were eyes that which have lost their zealous glow, the glow that Haruka had once thought warmed his soul in the deepest of ways. It was a voice of something new and strange, and he didn't like the sound of it. It was dead, lost in fathomless confidence and arrogance.

"―you're still hanging out with these guys?" A forced, hoarse chuckle. "You never learn."_  
_

It was as Haru expected, but although this was the case, he couldn't bring himself to be proud of the accurate assumptions he'd made so far. It was cruel, he thought; cruel that Rin had made his theories reality that day. The young, cheery boy he knew back then had drowned in a sea of competition and aggression for swimming, awakening this obscure monster with a scarily similar face and physique. It wasn't as though the result was horrible, but out of all people, Haruka hoped with all his might that Rin wouldn't be the one subjected to this sort of change. Alas, his poor luck made it the inevitable.

Watching upon closer observation was unnecessary. His speech, the way he spoke with such nonchalance alone had bitterly shattered the innocent image Haru had of him. To think the reserved male ever spent hours, even _days_ reminding himself that his past was just that: the past. Yet he remembered the moments he'd spent with Rin so clearly, so vividly enough to visualize it at any time, anywhere he was. '_It's true_,' he thought to himself. '_I never learn._' But his pride would never cave into this declaration, nor would he utter it aloud for the male before him to hear. Instead, Haruka felt that he needed to pay him back. So, just as Rin used to challenge Haruka, Haruka now had the guts to challenge Rin. '_Don't flinch_,' he told himself.

"And how about you?" he asked, closing his eyes. He could envision it under darkness, Rin's departure. It was painful to remember, but this time, he forced himself to. After a while, he welcomed the present darkness again. "Have you learned anything?"

Haru hated it. He hated the way Rin answered, popping his neck as if emphasizing his annoyingly boastful confidence. "Why don't I show you?" he replied, a lazy smile slapped across his face. While gesturing his rival to follow him, Rin began to walk down the hall where they would settle personal matters. "Let's race, Haru."

It didn't take Haruka long to decide his next move. He quickly brushed past Makoto and caught up with Rin, walking side-by-side, an arm's length away.

Unsettling chills ran through both spines as they ventured towards the indoor pool, fully aware of the other person's presence. Standing beside each other in their old school.. it was almost surreal. Both males could see their youthful days flash before them, back to a time when ignorant bliss was all they knew. They saw the image of their short legs running past them, into the lounge, the locker rooms, and the swimming pool. How they had come to envision it, they'll never know.

The halls weren't the same as they used to be. They were dark, and there was no sign of jovial atmosphere wandering about. Only silence hovered between them, but they didn't need to use words, anyways; their actions would speak for them.


	2. Endless

**AN:** I was really inspired to write this after watching the fourth episode. I meant to publish others before this one, but my semi-hiatus kept me from focusing on finishing the others and is due to a completely different matter. Anyway, here is the second oneshot, finally. This chapter is dedicated to Shirin.

**Episode-base:** Four  
**Character Arcs:** Rin  
**Word Count:** 810  
**Summary**: "I only swim free. I won't swim for you."

* * *

Everybody has at least one thing they regret―an abrupt form of action, a sudden outburst conjured up by false speech, or a thought that's led to unfortunate events pertained to it. In a specific moment or period of time, a regret forces you to remember the unpleasant memories which you constantly strive to run away from. The minutes, hours, days, and or months you've spent repenting your deeds lead you nowhere; there's nothing but fruitless hope to cling onto, hope that someday you'll forgive yourself from the rueful past and move on from the heavy burden that drags you down. Fault and impulsive nature are not to blame in this case. It's simply humane. It runs in our veins, and anyone who does not regret something at least once in their lifetime would be considered foreign to mankind.

Rin is no exception to this. He's restricted from freedom, chained down by shackles of his broken youth, and he's slowly suffocating, sinking in a sea of regrets.

Avoiding it is inevitable. Thoughts that hover around his childhood friend still continue to wash over him; endless, like a tide pulling towards the full moon.

On edge, and always alert, the sleepless nights in his room are proof enough of his countless worries and preoccupied conscience set on the particular person who distinctively resembles the freest mammal in the vast waters of his past.

Misery loves company. It feeds off it and welcomes darkness to take over innocent light, the light once being his goal in the days of juvenility. It was because he was robbed of such brilliant dreams that resulted in the longing for redemption to fill in its place. And again, this overpowering emotion whelming up inside was all created by one introverted boy. His soul-bound rival. His _friend_.

Haruka Nanase.

It was a scorching hatred, so easily tangled in pain, frustration, and lust for wrong doing. A twisted feeling welled up in his chest, like a force pushing against it until he was unable to stand. Something's pounding on it from the inside-out. His voice is choked up because a thousand words of demise and irritation towards himself gather at his throat, stumbling over each other as they fight to slip through his teeth. Not only do his unspoken words seem violent, though, but his actions also portray malevolent motives. He intends to hurt, so he's willing to say almost anything to get a reaction he's satisfied with. What's more is that his eyes are temporarily clouded by temptation. He's provoked to widen the gap that was filled with so much loathing in the first place. The level of mentality is tested, and the emotions weigh more than the memories he's cherished deep within his heart.

Eyes trail Haru as Rin's hand roughly pull on the boy's shoulder, slamming the placid male against steel wire while blocking him on both sides to prevent any means of escape. As sapphire collides with a deep ruby, the two males become lost in each other's gaze. And Rin gains confidence, enough to retort his acquaintance's earlier declaration, because he believes he deserves Haru's undivided attention.

"No," says he, tone apparent with focused agony. "You're going to swim for me."

Rin's efforts and years of training in Australia were _not _about to go to waste. He had worked too hard to nonchalantly be brushed off with a simple, congratulatory statement from Haruka. He knew, too, that the boy was not in shape as he had been. Therefore, Rin's victory was for naught. He'd challenged an athlete that was rusty, barely even able to call 'fit,' yet Haru had been so close to beating him even in the state he was in. What did that prove? Was this particular factor the only thing keeping his old rival from winning?

No. Rin wouldn't know that for sure unless he faced Haruka in a fair race.

So even if it was going to kill him, even if it was to be the last thing he ever did, it was going to be his dying wish. He would face Haru head-to-head, no matter what it took, because he knows he can't move on from the past if he can't fulfill this one deed. He's putting his all into this next race, once the pensive male before him gets his act together.

For the moment, Rin's mind is beyond his own comprehensive understanding, and doesn't care if the result of Haru's future training will make him lose. Everything he's done, everything he's sacrificed to be where he is now; he only knows and feels one thing. His pride is on the line.


	3. From Father To Son

**AN:** This had to be done. It just had to. Enough said.

**Episode-base:** Seven  
**Character Arcs:** Rin  
**Word Count:** 720  
**Summary:** Rin's father is the foundation for his dream to become an Olympic swimmer, and he can't carry out that dream until he beats Haruka once and for all.

* * *

The lingering stench of fish burned deep into his memory to the point where it could be smelled everywhere, the unforgettable odor filling his nostrils intensely as it had done so many years ago. He could feel the dampness of an old, black apron, the way it pressed against his skin as extended arms and rugged hands welcomed him in a tight embrace.

He went to the Iwatobi Harbor everyday after school where his old man showed him the fish, how they glided in the waters whilst sunlight danced on the sea's colorful horizon. Effortlessly, he envisioned the ocean, the view, smell, and feel of its frigid breeze kissing his rosy cheeks harshly before scurrying in the opposite direction.

He knew other fishermen on the dock well enough and greeted them accordingly, but aside from loving the blue waters, his main presence served one reason: to be with his dad. They would head home after inventory had been done, where they exchanged 'stories of the day' in the car; excited Rin, always packed with unintentional boasts of beating his personal best record in swimming, and Dad, who had just gone through a comical experience with the newest 'catch-of-the-day.' No matter how many times the stories seemed to repeat themselves, there was always enthusiasm and excitement in them and their owners' voices, filled with happiness that was forced to release before letting itself bury in the thousand tales previously told. Nevertheless, they always laughed, always smiled in the midst of their carefree conversations.

But that golden period of time was over, ended as melancholy replaced nostalgia in Rin's tainted heart. He no longer knew the familiar scent of his dad when it mixed with the sea, or the way the sea salt soiled into the soles of his dad's shoes until they ruined the material slowly. He'd forgotten the sound of his dad's voice when he talked about how proud he was of Rin and how he said Rin would become a truly great swimmer in the future.

It's hard for him to remember a time when he was truly happy around his own family, and as a result, he'd come to push them away overtime. _"I'll carry out dad's dream alone."_ It was the only way to feel closer, the only way he could remember everything about his dad, still. But his father wasn't the only thing he lost. He lost a certain spark in his eyes, his love for swimming transformed into a necessity instead of a want. The closer he got towards his dad's dream, the farther away he was from everything and everyone he once held dear.

"I want to achieve the dream my dad couldn't." Clenching his fist into the can, he kept his feelings intact, suppressing himself. "And there's someone I have to beat before I can make that happen."

It wasn't out of desire to feel superior. His goal was clear, and he knew exactly how hard he had to work to get to where he is now. In order for him to move on from his past, he is to grow and mature from it by testing his strengths to the fullest. Anyone that was going to get in the way of this ultimatum would be reprimanded to the extreme and silenced by his need of accomplishment.

Nitori could feel it, too. The room wasn't small, but the tension risen between he and Rin had become increasingly uncomfortable in the tight space. The mention of Haruka's name alone sent shivers down the other boy's spine, a stinging recollection now filling his thoughts.

Haruka didn't have a purpose. He didn't have a goal or aspirations in life, nor did he bother with matching his natural talents to its true potential, despite being one of the most gifted people Rin's ever seen. Haruka simply loved the feel of the water and swimming in general, yet he was able to perform outstandingly compared to Rin.

Rin, who devotes his whole life to swimming. Rin, who thinks about nothing day and night but his dad's past ambition and passion. Rin, who changed drastically just to get better.

He didn't know who to be more mad at: Haruka, who was naturally better, or himself, for not being enough to carry out his father's wish.


End file.
